say my name

Lately several schoolfriends/colleagues/relatives of mine have tied the knot or are at least playing with the rope anyway, and one subject that seems quite prevalent is the question of taking their future loved ones name. I ask the question: what difference does it make? I hear these cries of wanting to remain the same person and keeping onto some semblance of individuality and personality, but the bottom line is, from now on you will be known was 'them'. Regardless of what your second name will be, you will only be indicated by or asked to-wait for it-dinner parties in the form of 'jenny and gary', 'bobby and frankie', 'john and sarah'. You will have no seperate identity, you will merge into one, boring lump of greyness that does not need a second name to define itself because marriage already does by proxy. Any previous quirks or characteristics that made you feel unique will melt away under the pressure of being as close to your soulmate as possible ie drowning in a sea called average. Ok so Im a marriage basher. But let me defend myself-it is not that I dont believe in love or spending quite a good bit of time with someone even (gasp) years, but people grow apart naturally over time so whats the point in committing to someone when it would be a lot easier to drift away and towards someone you found more interesting/compatible/sexier/treated you better at that point in your life. Whats the point in 'working on' some relationship that has died years ago just because you've always been known as one name connected with your lover's? Theres a reason for videos and sketches like the below

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTlqgpA0GSk



PEOPLE GET BORED. whether they admit it or not. At least those who take their partners name without a second thought know what they're signing up for and fully accept the situation-or of course, they may be too foolish to realise the implications either way.

Which leads me to another thing...

This mid-twenties explosion of wedding bell ringers leads me to the conclusion that people think you 'should' get married at a certain age just because thats 'whats done'. They have been together for four, six, eight years and its time. Time for what??!! What do you do then? Surely theres more to life than being mr and mrs(or mr and mr/mrs and mrs as the case may be) Im not saying promiscuity or fickleness or a hardened heart is the way to go, but when the bright lights and champagne and holiday frolics are over-what do you have to look forward to then?

A lifetime of adaption, 'give and take'? Nothing would depress me more than losing a part of myself to make a relationship continue on in a land far, far away from the world in which you both fell in love with each other. What about this for food for thought?

http://www.askthecomputerwizard.com/blair/images/page%20171/Married%20Life.jpg

ok rant over. Anyone for tennis?